trying to make sense of what’s left of my freshman year here. what’s left of my second home. what’s left of me and my relationships. feeling very overwhelmed and guilty. i’ve been in this extended daze since the beginning of the second semester. i’ve invested and committed myself to way too many things with too much passion.
i’m definitely not the person i was last year during this time. i’ve done many things and gone many places that still surprise me, things i never thought i would do; places i never thought i’d live to see. now that i’ll be fully on my own next year, it’ll be a lot different.
i’m a bad person, i’m positive of it. i’ve turned into this greedy, filthy, senseless, guiltless, numb monster. i’m a monster monster monster monster. i shouldn’t be touched. i shouldn’t be loved. i shouldn’t be trusted. i’m just looking forward to the time when life stops for a little bit.